What happens after 40 (to your parents and you)

Age is scary to some (all). It appears that every passing birthday, we feel burdened. How i remember The Solitary Reaper? The one with a bent back, the one who needs to toil. While the advertising industry and pretty much everyone is worried about turning 30, I am busy thinking what would happen when you turn 40. Actually, what would happen when your parents are moving towards 50? At 46 or 47, they already have children who have a life of their own, they have spent a long long time with their spouse and they are quite free now. There is no need to run after children and feed them and there are no school projects to make. There will be no ‘pados wali sharma aunty’ who will compare the marks of every child in the ‘mohalla’ and later start looking for a suitable match for your kids. Life is almost at a standstill. What next?

The plight of our parents is beyond our understanding. At least, i do not understand what they go through on those long summer afternoons. Some of them are busy working in their offices while others, especially our mothers, are enjoying their solitude at home. There are less people to cook for and even lesser to talk to. Our life is busy for sure and we don’t really know how to help them. Even a great Sunday brunch or a visit during Diwali will not be of help. They will be alone and we really do not have a hint or an idea of what to do. A little dream calls us to faraway lands and a little ache in the heart does not let us leave them behind. Every body talks about the pain for children that parents feel. No one, and I mean NO ONE, ever talked about the pain that children feel for their parents. Yes, we are the ones who will ask you for money and expect gifts and understanding every time. Yes, we feel lonelier than you are and find ourselves helpless. 

What can be done? 

Keep Me In Your Heart

Keep me in your heart

I may not be there tomorrow

I ll be gone and you might not even get the news

That someone who loved you, can love you no more

‘coz death puts an end to a lot of things

I don’t want it to be our love, not so soon.


So if I cry or if I weep,

I just need a warm hug

And if I bring gifts

I just want you to accept them

Nothing more was ever desired

I like to give gifts,

I am wired that way

But if I am wired to you,

I wouldn’t mind it anyway.


You are closest to my heart

Like a couple of our friends

And you mean a lot to me

Smothering you was never an option

But mothering you will always be.


You are on my mind

Like the clock keeps ticking all the while

And if it ever stops…

Your tender clock will be dying.

So keep me in your heart

Keep me for another while

I wont always be all good

But I wont always be servile.


Our lives have taken different turns

And aloof I might seem

But who are separated in the middle of a life

Are always united in dreams. 

Why Are You Unemployed Or Underemployed (Part 2)

Some of you like what I said in the last post and some of you did not. Well that is how opinions are shared, criticised and respected. Anyway, moving ahead, let us have a look at some more reasons why people are unemployed or underemployed. Mind you, this time, I am going to adopt a totally different perspective on things and I hope that some of you would be able to relate with it. Honestly, even I had to face all this when i was about to graduate from college. This can be universal or can be restricted to a small group of people. Whatever it is, you decide. Have a look.


1. You are quite versatile- this is a blessing in disguise but most of us fail to recognise this. The fact is that there are a few people who are quite versatile. In fact, they are so good at getting things done that they are unable to decide what exactly would be right for them. As a result of this, they are always confused about what they must chose. Frankly, this blessing makes them have a hard time. It is like the Midas Touch. Whatever you touch would turn to gold but you are not sure what you must chose. Let us take an example. You graduated with a mass communications degree. You love hardcore investigative journalism but are equally attracted to light hearted magazine write ups. However, you end up writing scripts for a TV program. We cant say that you are bad at writing scripts. You are just too versatile and you would do everything well. Prioritising may help in this case. Think, prioritise and move ahead. Don’t chose one thing over the other or you are ready for doomsday in advance.


2. Work cultures don’t suit you well- yes, we all cannot fit into 9 to 5 cultures. Some like to work in the night, some like to be free to work while some others can only work in the mornings or evenings. Rest of their time is spent on Facebook or maybe near the coffee machine. When you are working in the wrong work culture, you would definitely have issues fitting in. I was working in an office in the beginning of my career where people came to work at 9 a.m. but started some real work only after 3 p.m. Till then, they were busy talking, playing or having lunch. I was more than a misfit. As someone who is all fired up in the morning who loses motivation in the afternoon and stays too creative around 6 p.m., this was not a good choice. As a result, I tried to adjust, lost my fire, then lost my motivation to work entirely. It can happen with you as well. A simple solution is to look for a kind of work that suits you and your style of work.




3. You like to wander- some minds are just wired like that. Some people find it extremely difficult to stick to one place for long. They cant handle the people or situations for long and continuously strive for change. This wanderlust may result in a number of changed jobs, a number of failed networking ideas and much more. Its not that these folks don’t like to work or are not creative, they just get sick of their surroundings too soon. Such people would have a number of interesting things on their resume but their time period would be too less. Consequently, they end up with cyclic employment. Sometimes they are working and the next time, they are not. Solution is simple. Learn to commit.


4. You are an entrepreneur- wohoo! sounds like a great idea. I would not have a boss, I would work on my own terms and I would be so damn successful. If this is your idea of entrepreneurship, please come back to reality. It is true that those who are entrepreneurs at heart are seldom employed anywhere else. They like to start things, experiment and strive to make things better for themselves and the people who are employed with them. You are an entrepreneur if you have an idea and the zeal to endlessly work on that idea no matter how many problems come in your way. If you are an entrepreneur and you feel unemployed or underemployed, develop an idea, work on it and follow your heart.


5. You are lazy- many people don’t like to work even when they like to earn money. I once met a man who told me that he did not wish to find work. Instead, he wanted work to find him. Well done boy! is that how you beat unemployment? Gather all your strength and start looking for a job or no one would be able to help you.


6. You are expecting way too much- a BIIIIG problem with recent college graduates is that their expectations are too high. They want jobs that pay well, they want a car, a house of their own and so much more. They find ideals in middle aged men and women who have spent half of their lives (almost equal to the age of a college graduate) in working day and night to achieve everything they have. They started small, did odd jobs, studied, got promoted and now enjoy the niceties of life. If you want to find ideals, don’t find ideals in pay stubs. Your first job can be crappy and it can pay you peanuts but that is exactly how you move on. No matter how educated, a fresher is a fresher and no one is going to pay for your Cadillac (Exceptions are always there). 

Why Are You Unemployed Or Underemployed (Part 1)

What I am going to write may be called sad but I have been feeling like this ever since I first started hiring for my firm. It is quite obvious that the number of people I meet everyday through their applications is too damn high. However, what I find is that most of them are too unemployed or underemployed. Yes, they are! They would knock every door and try to find every opportunity to work and earn money. Unfortunately, even if their skills make then find a job, they would never be happy doing it and add yet another small job stint in their life which would never be added to their resume. Anyway, I do not wish to demean anyone. I just want to tell you why you could have possibly been underemployed or unemployed till date. You would certainly have to think twice or read this post twice to accept but yeah, I am just making an effort so that you can understand a few simple things and try to improve them.



1. You don’t have a goal- no , seriously. Right when we leave college we are enthusiastic about every single opportunity that comes our way. We do not have any idea of what we really want to do and why should we be doing a job. Our primary aim is to get a job instead of looking for the right one. This is a trend that would continue for the next 3-5 years. Yes, no matter how much education you have received on a particular subject, someday you might find yourself to be a misfit and might want to move on. Do you know why this happens? It is because you never really had a concrete career goal to follow and you would have to pay for it in the future.


2. You are knocking every door- are you an MBA in finance? Why are you looking for a job opportunity in customer relationships? Even if you are able to fetch a job for yourself with your degree, you would hardly be able to work well in this field. It would take a lot of time and effort for you to learn the basics of customer relationship management. It would be like a second schooling lesson. Do not knock every single door of opportunity and be specific. The more specific your approach, the better. Sure, it might take time but it would definitely be helping you find better opportunities. Finding axillary fields is also a good way to get into your own field but don’t increase your horizons so much that confusion becomes imminent.


3. You are not ready to put in the hard work- no matter what job you do, no matter if you like it or not, if you have to earn money and become a fruitful employee to any organisation, you have to work hard. There is simply no alternative to hard work. If you believe that you would be able to do the easier job and earn good money, you would definitely be heading to a road that leads to the cliff. In any job, no matter how big or small, it is only hard wok that matters. Even if you land up at your favourite job, you would have to spend your fuel to get to the top and maintain your position. Personally, I prefer someone who is honest and ready to improve rather than someone who is skilled yet lacks perseverance. A lot of HR managers are also looking for someone like this.


More reasons and viewpoints in the next post.

Whatever Went Wrong With Politics

So, I didn’t blog much in 2013 and that’s okay. I never really realized how the past year went by. It looks like 2013 was the shortest year of my adult life. Something that went away faster than I realized. It seems that my Patiala trip in February happened about a 100 years ago. Meanwhile, I have been busy having a look at many political debates on TV these days (I am calling them ‘debates’ to ease your understanding). I was quite a curious soul and whatever I can see on the news channels these days is really baffling me. The point is that it definitely entertains me a lot and I have really lengthy political discussions with my mum. 


Why am I writing all this? I have been quite amused these days. The rise of the Aam Admi Party, the rise of Narendra Modi, the (supposed) rise of Rahul Gandhi… all these things are amusing me. Let me first clarify that I am an aam admi myself. No one else is allowed to speak their mind because some people think that bloggers and thinkers have highly polarized views. So whatever went wrong with politics? It is sad to see the remarks the politicians are making these days. It is sad to see a Chief Minister demeaning the police force on the Republic Day function. Yes, they are wrong in many ways. But what you say and do appears more like a way to distract us from the real issues. It looks like you are trying to make us think about the things that you don’t own instead of the performance of the things that you own. I am not against you at all, but when I have a look at what all is being done and said, I am forced to believe things like this. It is sad to see that the ‘older’ and ‘oldest’ political party members are making horrible personal comments on each other. It is sad to see that we were looking for options outside the system which could bring a lot of anarchy. 


Oh! Anarchist. I believe that there is some kind of a system in anarchy just like there is some kind of method in madness. How can you not be systematic? Don’t think I am blaming the AAP (solely), I am narrating the heartbreaking scenes I watch on TV. I think that politics needs to set her facts straight. She has entered the wrong lane this time. She needs to understand that people are not ready for any kind of drama. Of course, we listen to what you say in your rallies and political debates, but we are not ready to listen to lies. We want you to work for us. We want you to voice our concerns and behave in a way that you are expected to. It looks like all the parties look for the one who shouts the best and ask them to sit on these TV debates. Why? Why is this election about personal allegations and not about agendas? Where is an employment plan, an industry plan, an agriculture plan or even a good education plan? Who on earth is talking about them?


I have had quite a few headaches while watching these TV debates. They just shout and try not to let someone else speaks. When such a quarrel goes on, I listen and believe only the person who speaks calmly and doesn’t fight. I listen to the person who looks and behaves just. I am a part of the youth too. I am sure there are many people around like me who don’t listen to the loudest voice, but the most significant work done by the person. It is quite surprising to see that the election process is becoming polarized. We have focused most of our attention on people. One person per party. Yes, every party has a leader but not when it is about the Parliament. We would not vote directly for our Prime Minister, then why do we vote on the basis of one person. Am I ready to vote for a person who does nothing for my constituency just because his victory would ensure that someone specific would become the Prime Minister of the nation? Of course not. 


Then there is a party that has to get over its dilemma. It needs to understand what people want and give it to them that way. Others are busy marketing themselves. If you can’t be a part of active marketing, you can still be subtly active with people in spaces where they like to engage with you. We want to know you as well. We want to hear from you and ask questions from you too. Why not be available? Talking about the new ‘options’ of our politics, I would only suggest that mass recruitment can come with a hell lot of problems for you. Every person who wears your ‘topi’ is responsible for making or breaking your party. So please, be a little more careful. Again, it is not a marketing campaign. It is not about meeting goals and boasting about the number of members you have around the nation. Trust me, people would take you more seriously if you do some good work, slowly expand yourself and then try to unite the nation in a slow but steady process of change. Maybe you would be a part of the parliament in huge numbers in the next 10 years if the ‘older’ and ‘oldest’ parties do not learn anything. 


Anyone of us can go on and on about this discussion. The bottom line is that politics has definitely gone wrong somewhere. Be it the agitation or the resentment that people feel towards the government, the raucous behavior of all the options or the never changing condition of the local government and politics that you come across… there can be a lack of just means. Whoever wins the election, whether Gandhi, Modi or Kejriwal, the point is… what would we be getting in return? What would we win? Can anyone predict? No. Let’s wait and watch more…  

Would My Generation Ever Fall In Love?

Just how many times do you listen to love songs each day? They touch your soul and you feel happy, often sad to have listened to them. Do they not tear your heart apart at times? So I don’t know if being a girl makes you talk about love more often than not. Whenever there are two girls together, they talk less about boys and more about love. When we are alone, we listen to these songs and make ourselves believe that things would be okay soon. There is something great to look up to. Maybe there is not.

You know, most of the people I talk to, are always disheartened and scarred from the idea of love and with no fault of their own. We 20 something’s have had a fair share of our crushes and relationships and we know that it’s not that bad a thing in the end. But when it comes to longer term relationships, I think we all have known the gentleman who becomes a dictator only to his wife and the woman who suffers everything just for the sake of her children. You know who I am talking about. They are your parents!

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So where did this thing spring up from? Nowhere in particular. Was just wondering about how marriages generally are and how most of the people of my age have seen them. When you are in the writing business, anything under the sun can spring up. A recent project was for personal confession stories, which was obviously given to some writers saying that they can write imaginary confessions. However, what I found out was imagination was only a sensory part of their real life experiences. Could you believe that other than silly cooked up stories that we were cooking up and laughing about, many stories pointed out to the wrath of a relationship, especially of marriage?

Almost everyone had a couple of stories to share about parents being unhappy in their relationships. They were fighting with each other while making sure that they are able to keep up appearances. I recently met a family that looked too perfect to be true. Almost an idea for me to follow. Looked like ‘Yes! There is one family like that’ and then you see just how sick the man feels in his household and how helpless and broken is the woman. All the stories from my writers and all the people I have met were pointing to one direction. We are scarred. We have grown up with screams and shouts. We have listened to all those harsh exchange of words between our parents and we have known just how painful it is to see them fight.

Were we ever able to do something to stop them? Maybe we could or maybe we couldn’t. But this is one of the reasons why we have all wished to run away from the house and breathe fresh air. Maybe, this is why we feel more inclined towards the victimized parents who are most often our mothers. I like the 80s and 90s romance. Looks like youngsters were pretty rebellious and wished to marry the ones they wanted. Look at romance now! You would realize why my generation gives a damn to love and relationships. Yeah! We all secretly want it and our desire for getting one perfect relationship makes us fall in love again and again, only to come out as soon as we dived in. But then, are we not a little scared of marriages? Will talk about it someday later. I am too engrossed in studying the psychological impact of parents’ behavior on children. Sharing real life stories would be better.

Goodbye…. Half Lie

Remember, I used to call you

To come to the place we loved to be

Together we used to watch people pass by

The kids and the staring eyes that used to see

The love in our eyes and the bond of our souls

Same old things that are saying goodbye.


I have waited for this moment ever since I was gone

I only wanted the time to be ripe

When I could see you for one last time

And then cease to be a part of your life.

Friend, dearest friend, I have loved you more

Than the deep ocean trench

I have hidden a love wider than the sea

But now the time has come and I should

Make myself believe

In the futile faith I have in you,

Same old faith that must now say goodbye.


Remember, we used to spend hours together

Talking about everything under the sun

I used to listen to everything you said so carefully

Like my life depended on those words.

Remember, the time we used to laugh and

Remember the time we used to cry,

These are the same old times we have shared together

And now this time should say goodbye.


I had changed my decision when I saw you again

I wished I would never leave again

And then an unwanted gift was presented

A gift that shook me back to senses again.

I tried not to open it when I was alone

I knew what devastation it would bring

You are such a silly man, my friend

Could you not keep my sweet little things?


I wore them again and I felt I was empty

Like a glass that has poured all its wine

No more filling the cup again

No more of us dancing, no more of ‘you’ mine.

I will leave again, this time content

That you are happy and going on fine

I have been betrayed, looted and left to mourn

But I won’t let that fact change my life.


Remember, each word I said and each one I did not

Remember, the way I thought you were my prized possession

And all the ways you thought you were not.

Don’t make me want to love you more

I may deviate from the path I chose

But if you could, I would certainly love

To get just one……….or maybe meet again

When I am more equipped to face

Your face that must say goodbye.


Time is here and we never waste time,

I want to say so much but my words feel shy

Doesn’t matter, these are just plain old words,

And these words must finally say goodbye.