it used to fascinate me at times at how ppl fall in love n how do thy sacrifice all their heart n soul. how do thy make one person the axis of their life n how do thy forget everything when that special someone looks at thm n says those three magical words….
i even used to feel ridiculous at hw ppl could opt to talk on phone all night rather than sleeping. my overall idea of love was that it was A FOOL’S PARADISE n according to me, i was very very intelligent to fall in love.
th one fine day i fell in love. it was only thn i realised that what it means to see someone smile. what happiness does it bring to sacrifice urself, to give all u have n receive the same. but as many others who r reading this post, even my love remained one sided. i kept on loving, calling him, texting him n tellin him i was there. i gave all that i had. all my love , my care n everythng that i thot he wud feel good about was silently passed to him.
i was BLIND, i was CRAZY. i was FLOATING IN ETHER, my heart was DANCING, i cud feel the JOY, the SILENT CARESS OF HIS BREATH whn i lay asleep on my bed.
was it not all that i wanted??? it was. i thought it was MEANT TO BE. he is the one for me. i cud feel him inside me. in my heart n in my soul.
but during all this i forgot that my love was nt mutual. I, in my blind efforts to make him mine, smothered him. maybe i was a lil pushy in makin him love me.
ignored all his irritated replies, all his ways to correct me every time i spoke a word. i ignored his efforts of nt letting me touch him, not allowing me to hold him, not even letting me prove my point. was i doing anythng wrong….??
finally i told him that i love him and not to my surprise he became distant n cold. i told him that i was just telling my feelings. i had no intentions of him loving me back. i was not expecting a positive reply. if he likes me too we can carry on a beautiful relationship n if not i wnt change for him at all…. i ll still be the same , as i was. a friend to him. a friend who does everything, every single way to make him smile.
i did not want him to love me back, i knew i cant push him into a relationship. i just wanted him to at least listen to me and respect my feelings. respect the fact that someone is there who can come n hold him through bad times. someone existed who cud make him believe that life was beautiful if it was being shared by two ppl.
i dnt knw what went wrong. maybe i was pushy. coz i had tried a hundred times to cntact him after that. maybe he thought that all i was gonna talk about was my love . u r a friend to me and will always be. plz if u ever read this, be sure that i keep my words. if u dnt wanna be my lover, i dnt mind. if u wud like to continue a relationship that we had before , i wnt mind that toooo …. bt i just want u to be happy, WITH OR WITHOUT ME.
it feels like u r gone now. but, if u ever come back, plz dnt push me to become an object of ur liking. let me be who i am.
i like u as u are. i like ur qualities and i accept all ur flaws. N STILL LOVE U. m not a child, who needs to be instructed about everything. m not too old to teach u as well. we may commit mistakes, bt we can resolve all our problems, TOGETHER.
nxt time if we meet, plz plz plz…. love me…
n if u dnt love me, thn atleast RESPECT ME………. n all those tender feelings which i nurtured for u.