the pleasure of pain….


sometimes it feels better to feel pain… it feels better to hurt yourself than to sit numb in a corner and wait for loneliness to fill your heart…
even if you are sad, you are satisfied that atleast your heart has not lost its sensitivity….atleast it can still respond to the world around you, it can still dance.. no matter if it plays the wrong, melancholic beat…..

when a terribly emotional heart, young and restless, starts to find satisfaction in pain,we it morbid. but in reality it is the pleasure of being in pain….
we all have the tendency, though i slightly neglected forms to inflict pain upon our own selves. we realise that whatever we do is not going to bear any good fruits, but we still do it. not only because we want to take risks, but because we are afraid to leave our heart empty.

it is that emptiness that a morbid person is scared of. he feels that it is better to be in pain. to be abnormal. to do something that may shake his senses and make him realise that he is still alive. he wants something terribly strong, whether emotionally or physically, that would make him feel that he can still breathe…

for this reason, each of his breath has to tear his lungs apart, eah heartbeat has to ache his bosom, each step forward has to meet with two steps backwards, each of his relationships has to make him cry, every little wound has to turn soar…. and yes its not his fault, its his life…

a young heart with such enormous possibilty to bear pain…. what a pitiful sight for us.. but what a pleasurable moment for him. he has become so habitual to pain that now nothing lesser would appeal to him. whta would he do without pain? no , he cannot stay numb, he cannot lie down, he cannot close his eyes in peace…. all he can do and feel is pain…

he would put up a fight against those who deprive him of his heaven. he would not bother anyone else, but he would not like to be bothered as well. we can condemn him, we can call him b y names, we can do whatever we can to make him an object of either scorn or pity…. but would that help him…..??? is there any way we can help him get out of this??

the biggest problem is that the addiction to pain is so intoxicating… it fills your heart to the core. one snatch away alcohol from someone, but how would you get rid of pain???? at point when he has grown so habitual to his pleasure, how would you make him stay away??? how would you not make him meet people, make friends, make enemies, or just to be someone…..???
alcohol is sold, opium is sold, but pain is just bought, and that too at a very heavy price…..

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