the fear of being close….. a long chase for nirvana (part 1)


many a times it has come to my notice that the people are afraid to come close to each other. Even though the natural tendencies of human nature remain that of a social animal, more and more people every day are running away from their natural want of togetherness, into closed isolated spaces that does not leave an opportunity for them to explore their true selves.
The modern life has only witnessed the evolution of a new kind of human where his ‘higher want’ of spirituality, or what I put forward as ‘atma gyan’ or self- realisation is not fulfilled.
In principle, we have always heard of the ‘atma’ or the soul to be a part of the almighty. We know that god is omnipotent and omnipresent. We know that we are an ‘ansha’ or a part of god himself. And at the end of this life we all have to go and become a part of that higher being. All the ‘anshas’ will eventually become a part of larger entity. This clearly indicates the presence of a distinct reality within us that is god himself and that god does not want food, clothing or shelter. His needs are somewhat different from our own.
This soul or ‘atma’ craves for togetherness. As the basics of chemistry teach us, the smallest individual entity , the ‘atom’ combines with more of its kind to for a molecule.
To put the want of togetherness and social contact in place, we shall now again take the path of a physical science. (note that to explain a social phenomenon too, help of a physical science has been taken which only indicates that all things are interdependent on each other.)
The smallest ‘cell’ is ‘I’ or the ‘atma’. Cells of the same kind combine to form a ‘tissue’. And various tissues again make an ‘organ’. Henceforth several organs working together, however made up with different tissues catering to different functions of life, make an ‘organism’. The science is plain and clear. A cell or an atom is nothing in itself. Though independent it needs the fulfilment of attaching itself to a group.
So, when the basic need of every one of us is to be together and to create bonds, why each being feels detached and isolated? Why does one cannot fulfil his desires? Why can one ‘atma’ find it difficult to connect to the almighty?
The answer is as simple as what we have been hearing since being born. It’s our lifestyle and more dominantly the situations that one actually forces upon himself to face without a particular reason or justification.
No wonder all of us are striving to become what we have been asked to become. In this situation, the condition becomes extremely explosive as neither the ones who obey can feel good, nor the ones who disobeyed will be left out of the punishment zone.
It all depends on how our minds have been conditioned. It is very obvious that we are told not to disobey our elders or to raise our voice against them, at the same time it is told to us not to resist anything bad or not to give up to something that is against our wishes. If both the possibilities are related and seen in just one person, whom should one choose?
In another similar example, we can have a look at how a typical ‘bahu’ is depicted in the daily soaps. We can see a nagging ‘saas’ as always. The ‘bahus’ however fall in two different categories. The first bahu is the obedient case who listens to whatever her saas tells her. She does not resist to the duty, but nevertheless feels bad for what she has to face. Even then she won’t comment or speak out because of what she has been told to do. She was brought up as not an obedient child who feels it is bad to speak against the wishes of an elder and who in turn supresses her natural revolt towards the ‘saas’ in order to maintain the peace of her family.
On the other hand we find the ‘rebellious bahu’. The one who won’t give up on her rights and the one who would speak out in case she finds injustice or prejudice covering the heart of the various family matters popping now and then. This ‘bahu’is not liked by other members of the family openly and she has to face a literal isolation. However, from the inside everybody wants to be like her because then she acts as a vent to the other’s frustrations as well.
Basically there is no way out of being spared of that punishment. When u find that you have to choose between your happiness and the traditions, I would urge all to become what they feel they are. What good would the suppression of your small pleasures do to you.
We all are fairly ignorant creatures. Ignorance of some parts of our body, ignorance of some parts of our soul, ignorance of some part of our world. I know its too big a world to know all. But then, we can condense our concerns at least to ourselves.
(…. to be continued)
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