commitment and all that


you know i had the options all the while
i was with you still…

how can someone as strong as you
give up so easily, in the matters of the heart
complicated they are and they make me go mad
but what hurts more is the way you build your walls
not to enclose my existence
but against me…..

how do i go on with this three way fight
struggling against my feelings as well as yours
then trying to break your walls inch by inch
how much will i have to try to make you believe
that i am working very very hard to make this work

and so hard that my heart bleeds through my eyes
each effort i make is a blow to my heart
i have had all options, to go away
to leave you
and i always knew i ll never go
but its time that i re-consider my decision
not to leave you, but to make it work
is there something over there that loves me the way i want..??

you know a woman’s desire
what she wants is love,
its difficult for her to enjoy the moments without the assurance of a future
no matter if it exists or not
she has to feel secure, comfortable
i dont know how should i express this
do you not understand me

i know its a distant dream
commitment n all
creates a lot of confusion in my mind
how can you love and still want to loose me
how can you ask me so rudely to go away
and cry in darkness when i go
how can u dance with me without looking into my eyes
holding me like you are afraid to touch me
then very easily pass my hand on to another man
regaining consciousness only for a moment
just before leaving my hand
you hold it so tight, that i feel like staying in the moment forever

then why are you scared to come near me, let me in
let me talk to you
i was more scared than love than you are
after years of thrashing my feelings and emotions
after beating them so violently
i found they never died, but came out stronger than ever
and it was time i gave up
ready to splash in the love i had felt for you

how can you fight so much?
why do you fight so much?
please give up
cause i have chosen not to go
i have chosen to stay
i have chosen to wait
i have chosen to love you
even it means i have to torment my soul

but how do i do so?
m lying on the floor
lifeless, motionless
i have not the strength to move anymore
but what else can i do?
i am loving a man who loves me back
but not the way i want him two
two extremes we are and will always remain
an addition to those countless incomplete love stories…..

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