In The Closet- Marrying a Homosexual


so the question is not only about alternate sexuality coming out of the closet. it is also about the the norms in the society that do not let a thousand others accept the truth in their life. in a large part of the world, homosexuality is  treated as a sin, you are condemned to hell if you commit this crime. our values and the institution of marriage has really become more than a pain to be tolerated by the alternate sexuality group.

so, a gay is not supposed to marry a girl and if he is married, he is certainly not gay. so in a situation where a homosexual gets marries to a straight woman or a man, would there be an explosion or will the spouse live in a anxiety that he/she could never affect their partners. on the other hand would the person in question always be able to live the dual life, pretending to be straight while completely aware of his/her sexuality.

i have read numerous articles over the internet about spouses, especially women who were married to an alternate sexuality bearer and were later shattered to pieces on discovering the reality. so who is to blame? two people brought up in the same society who have been  taught the same about alternate sexuality, about sins and about crimes and hell, may be scared of alternate sexuality in a similar fashion. if it is difficult for the straight spouse to accept the sexuality of his/her partner, it is equally tough for the alternate sexuality bearer to accept his sexuality and refuse to follow the rules of society, while he knows that he may be forced to live a life that is full of mockery. who is to blame now?

i believe that our norms are so rigid that they sometimes restrict our right to breathe freely. we are not a good society if we cannot live the way we want to live or if a person is somehow forced to ruin his life and that of others just for the sake of getting married.

there is certainly no future for this marriage in name. yes, there are couples who accept the identity of one of the partners and continue living their lives together. but for a others, it may turn out to be a nightmare.

there is a long way to go before the world actually acknowledges the fact the alternate sexuality bearer may have a respectful existence in the society. till the time, i do not see any harm in a straight partner marrying the gay if they both are aware of the pros and cons of the union. however, if you are married to a gay without the knowledge of his sexuality or that you do not feel comfortable in this union, it is better to stay calm and look for a concrete solution. one cannot blame your spouse for being what he/she is and so shouldnt you. however, i realize it is a tough decision and it may really take you through a phase of trauma, anxiety and a feeling of worthlessness, but in the end its all about your life and the choices you have made in order to make it what it is.

always remember that it is you and only you who can control the path of your life. so leave all the depression and negative feelings aside and start life afresh. god bless!!!

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