on fluidity of thoughts… on me


i am….

so wonderfully ridiculous,

so bluntly diplomatic,
so sharply numb,
so simply over the top,
so carelessly organized,
so senselessly intellectual,
so rebelliously nerd,
so deliciously disgusting,
i am so truly a lie……
i am a river that originates from nowhere,
i am a stream that never meets the ocean,
i am not the holy water which purifies you,
i am not a garbage can who can take all your trash,
i am so truly a lie….
i am not an adult to talk about world peace,
i am not a child to play with toys,
i am not a man who has no sentiments,
i am not a woman who foolishly falls in love,
i am not a fairy who would send your worries away,
nor i am the devil who would increase them.
i am so truly a lie….
i cannot be the girl of your dreams,
nor the one who takes your sleep away,
i can sweep you off your feet,
but the question remains, if i really will?
i am not a pain, i am not a curse,
but then i am not the happiness, not the rejoice.
i am so truly a lie….
i am not your water, i am not your thirst,
i am not your food, nor your hunger,
i am not your mother who will nurture you,
nor am i your child who needs your protection.
i am so truly a lie….
i am not a cool breeze that will soothe your skin,
i am not the whirlwind that will destroy your belongings,
i am not a catastrophe,
i am not a miracle.
i am so truly a lie…
i cannot walk hands in hands with you,
but i would never leave you alone,
i am restless enough, not to be understood,
but i am also like a still lake, deep and meaningful.
i am so truly a lie…
i cannot be your comfort,
i cannot be your sorrow,
i am not your past,
i will never be your tomorrow,
then why do i exist in your life?
i am not the fire that burns your hands,
i am not the spark that lights a dim room.
i am so truly a lie…
i cannot take you places,
nor will i let you stay at home,
i will never let you stay in peace,
because the moment you see me,
the moment you try you know me,
you give yourself to an eternal thirst,
you lose your soul to a mirage,
you run after the northern star,
you sail for the endless horizon,
you never find what you want,
it gets farther away at each step,
you still cannot leave the chase,
you live in a state of a painful orgasmic bliss.
coz i am so truly a lie……..

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