I have many many friends
And a few who I call the best ones
Those chosen few who are and were
The pillars of my happiness
The rule for my smile
And the formula for my joy.
My friends were my life.
There is one to whom I am the glorious past,
That stands in ruins today,
Maybe I was his love, maybe he loved me.
Maybe there was a point in time, when his heart beat for me.
And I broke it as hard I could,
And I made him cry,
So that I can weep when he smiles.
Now he lies and audience
To the sad performance of my soul.
There is another who is pretty much the same,
But to him I am just a pending job,
I keep waiting so I can find,
I check mark in front of my name.
There is one who is lost in time,
The one who spent a small, frivolous,
Tensed and controversial time of her life with me.
We used to look like contradiction personified
But what a shame
She is lost in time
There are two who share my best kept secrets
They two have been with me for years
Those who whose presence I crave all the time
Those two girls were never to depart
But time now has parted our ways
They have a privilege I wish I never had
But nonetheless I am still not past
But a pleasant surprise every few months
And a hope for tomorrow
There is one who is too close for comfort
Suffocating me till the last breath
Presence is pain, but she is the last hope
For a monotonous life.
I keep avoiding as I am sick of her now
She has to go, I feel somehow.
I need to be left alone with myself
I need time to introspect
It has been a while since I met myself
Friends are important nonetheless
But you need some time apart.
Because you soul is your silent lover,
She waits in a corner till you come close to her,
Then shy as a budding rose she runs away.
You have to hold those hands tightly and let her know
That you are there for her unspoken words,
Unfulfilled promises and unfelt emotions.
So love yourself as much as you can
There is nothing more that you need in the world
Because I know when I love myself
I love the God inside me, the devil inside me
And yes this narcissist self is what still binds me
To the world full of strange friendships
And friendly strangers